Soft Skills: Grit
Sean Conway is no ordinary person. Or is he? Sean and I were both born in Zimbabwe, and had similar experiences growing up. But when a friend recently told me about what Sean is currently doing, I didn’t believe it at first, because it sounded simply impossible. His goal? To complete a full triathlon, not just once, but every single day for 102 consecutive days. Can you imagine doing 102 back-to-back iron man events? As I’m writing this, Sean is halfway through his cycle on day number 85 of 102. Simply incredible.
What drives a person to succeed in the face of challenges? What makes someone like Sean achieve what many of us would think of as impossible? Many psychologists agree that one of the key soft skills that drives people like Sean is the same soft skill that is required for all of us to achieve any measure of significant long term success. Whether it’s 102 triathlons, creating a successful business, doing well in matric exams, having a healthy marriage, or anything in between. What is that soft skill? It’s grit.
I want to zoom in on this key soft skill called ‘grit’ for a moment. Let’s start with a helpful framework for what it is (I call that part the ‘grit grid’), then talk about how we measure grit, before landing on some practical ways to learn to develop grit in ourselves and our children.
The Grit Grid
What exactly is grit? Psychologist Angela Duckworth, well known for her work on grit, defines grit as applying perseverance and focused attention in order to achieve specific long term goals. My perhaps over simplified summary: Grit is passion and perseverance towards goals. Each of these elements of grit is critical: passion, perseverance and goals. Take a look at the diagram below - I call it the Grit Grid.
We start with passion. If I want to achieve something, I must know why it is important to me. I must know how it connects to my personal values and a sense of purpose. Without passion, I am left doing something through perseverance alone, which usually leads to burnout. Why do so many educators, after years of pouring themselves into teaching, end up tired, jaded and burnt out? The same is probably true for any industry. Without maintaining a sense of personal passion, we are at risk of letting our perseverance simply run us into the ground.
Now let’s talk about the counterbalance to our passion - perseverance. As Duckworth points out, perseverance is part of what we call a growth mindset. It’s the thing that stops us from giving up when we face difficulties or failure. Without perseverance, when the going gets tough even the passionate walk away. And perseverance is not just about ‘sucking it up’. Duckworth says that a vital element of perseverance is strategic self-care - intentional mechanisms for keeping myself healthy for the long haul. Finally, perseverance teaches us to see challenges as opportunities and to be adaptive to new environments. And we know that those skills are vital in today’s world!
But there is a third piece to this Grit Grid, and it is having well-defined goals. These goals are not vague and intangible. They are specific, well-defined and measurable. As Robert Vallerand points out, without thinking critically and deeply about what we are specifically aiming for, passion and perseverance alone may lead to an unhealthy obsession. If our passion and perseverance are going to lead to long-term and continued success, we need to have a clear picture of what we are aiming for.
Put these three things together - passion and perseverance towards goals, and you have the makings of a gritty person on the road to long-term, sustainable success. Pop onto Sean Conway’s webpage and you get a strong sense of each:
Sean’s passion is clear in how he talks about why he is doing what he is doing. He has a strong sense of purpose and his values resonate through his actions.
Sean’s perseverance is obvious. His growth mindset is so strong that he has a page on his website dedicated to what he calls ‘hiccups’, where he literally chronicles his failures, unpacking what he learnt through each experience.
Sean’s goals are well-defined. He knows exactly what he is aiming for. Beyond the Iron 102, Sean has identified several clear goals for himself labeled ‘Dreams’.
Measuring Grit: Have I got it?
Grit is not a switch - something that you simply have or don’t have. It’s complex. To spark helpful reflection, and to start identifying which part of the Grit Grid you need to focus on, ask yourself (or your child) these questions:
Relating to passion:
Do I usually have a meaningful reason for doing something?
Do I know what my personal values are?
Relating to perseverance:
Do I feel discouraged easily by setbacks or give up easily?
Do others describe me as a ‘hard worker’?
Do I know what to do when I feel tired or need support?
Relating to goals:
Do new ideas stop me from finishing what I am currently working on?
Do I find it difficult to describe my goals to someone else?
Do I often feel passionate about something only for a time?
Learning to Develop Grit
Like many soft skills, grit can be grown over time. Soft skills are learnt through experience, feedback and practice. They are also interdependent, developed by practising other soft skills such as resilience, courage, self-discipline and reflection.
As parents and educators, here are some helpful tips for how to coach our children into becoming more and more gritty:
Help them to develop and refine their passions. Watch carefully what they choose to do with their spare time (and I don’t mean online gaming!). What other sorts of things do they ‘get lost’ in? Give them opportunities to be ‘bored’ and have to exercise creativity. Help them explore their interests and try new things. Ask them lots of questions about the things that interest them. Teach them to be able to identify and verbalise their personal values.
Teach them to persevere in the face of challenges. Help them to reframe challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, even if they fail. Encourage thoughtful and healthy risk-taking. Create opportunities for them to spend time with people who are resilient. Engineer difficulties that they need to overcome on their own, while still having the safety net of your support (if you’re not sure how to do this, just go camping in the rain). Make sure that they know how to access support and help (both from you and others) when they are feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
Practice setting and reaching goals regularly. Let them decide what they would like to aim for (remember that it needs to align with their passions) then help them to write down specific goals that are measurable and attainable. Check in with them regularly until they have reached the goal, or can articulate why they did not reach it. Then set a new goal.
Take a moment to think about how a bit more grit would impact your work, relationships, fitness, finances and more. By finding our passion, practising perseverance and setting specific goals, we can grow in grit and realise more long-term and sustainable success. This is one soft skill that is worth its weight in reflection and practice.
